Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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