WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
