Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
