She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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