I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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