I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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