brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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