Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
