im having a threesome with these popsicles
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
