He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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