Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
