I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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