i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
