I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
