Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
