her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
