and you said cock pushups were impossible
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
