Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
