I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so let's talk penis.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
