it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
