i'm signing you up for texting rehab
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
