Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
