i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
