Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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