Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
