dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
porn star boner night. come get it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
