forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think people are normalizing furries
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
