My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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