I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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