we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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