I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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