i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
only if we run a train.
done.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
