you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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