who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
