Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
