im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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