shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
