Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize