the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
