He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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