is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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