Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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