Plan B is the new Plan A
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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