so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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