Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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