That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
