so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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