He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
