I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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