the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
