when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
