Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
