How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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