3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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