We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize