So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
