I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
