Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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