I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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