i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
