I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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