Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
